Monday, 12 January 2015

Finding Ecstasy by Rebecca Pillsbury: Book Review

Author Rebecca Pillsbury, Prize Winner of "The Christine Kloser's Transformational Author Writing Contest", pens down the most intimate moments of her life in her debut book and a transformational memoir, Finding Ecstasy.

A Candid Memoir!

Conditioned by her family upbringing, religious beliefs and childhood ideologies, Rebecca grows up to an introvert girl carrying unidentifiable shame, guilt and fear about her womanhood and sexuality. Consequently, she faces trouble being in relationship with a partner, both emotionally and physically. The repressed state of her emotions also shows up in her body as disturbed menstruation patterns and poly cystic ovaries. In Finding Ecstasy, author Rebecca discloses her inner-most secrets of how she felt confined within the spaces of her body and mind and how a visit to Buenos Aires and meeting a Brazilian, life-changing books, travels, retreats, opening up with a group of women, blues dancing, yoga and a five-year relationship with her boy friend bring about a transformation not just about her body and sexuality but rather a holistic upliftment, which is truly spiritual in nature.

What Finding Ecstasy is?

From a broader perspective, Finding Ecstasy is not a tale of just one woman. Perhaps, every woman, at some point in time goes through the emotional confinements that the author does in her memoir. By the example of her own life, author Rebecca helps women to identify their emotional and sexual needs and connect with their inner beings with greater depths. It also offers men, a walk through the conflicting inner world of a woman which otherwise remains ever-elusive to their eyes.

What Finding Ecstasy is not?

This book should not be mistaken for some kind of provocative book on erotica. It, rather, regards sexuality as a higher virtue which can be liberating at the soul level through its uninhibited expression.

A Voice of the Many

What most of us keep digging in to ourselves in order to understand how and what it feels within, is written so casually that you will almost feel living the life of the author. In one of her early relationships, every time she meets her partner, she desires to be nurtured and loved. She prefers to talk for a while before they could move in but her partner's way of expressing love was to get into action straightaway. Out of fear of being rejected, she obliges. This happens time and again and she feels having caught in a meaningless relationship. At a later stage, however, her new-found wisdom gives her the courage to assert what she feels to do rather than remain a victim. As a matter of fact, she makes the reader realize that there are truly no villains and no victims in the world. What brings one into this circle is what they have envisioned for themselves.

For people who have stayed in a suffocating relationship for long and wanting to let go of it, for people who want to release some kind of shame and guilt in them, for people who want to set their energy back to its natural flow - Finding Ecstasy is a gift!

There are other thoughtful questions of a common man like What's 'right and What's 'wrong', Who God is?, Should your job define you? that are discussed with keen wisdom, in the book. Certainly, it helps to reflect on the conflicts and confusions that consume several souls in the world of today.

A Few Excerpts from the Book

  • With daily tracking of my basal body temperature, cervical fluid pattern, and cervical position, I accurately predicted days of ovulation, and therefore menstruation. I believe that even this simple awareness of and appreciation for how my body works created a safe space for my body to perform its natural functions. Now that I was ovulating regularly, the ovarian cysts disappeared on their own. I learned that we have way more control over our own fertility than the medical industry and the media would have us believe (Page 143).
  • Simply opening up a dialogue on what is often a taboo topic creates major shifts in perspective.......But I will say that our culture has to start somewhere. If we stay quiet and closed out of fear of what others might think or say, our society will stay rooted in sexual repression. And sadly, a sexually repressed society leads to all manner of sexual addiction, violence, and depression. We owe it to ourselves and our community to break this cycle, and we can do it simply by doing one thing - start talking (Page 147).
  • Rather, my role was part of the Universe's plan - I needed to experience myself as who I am not, in order to know who I truly am (Page 163).

A New-age Author!

I cannot stop admiring and appreciating the author for one, the courage to have come up with sharing her private life for the good of the world and two, for taking her memoir in a bold, wise, inspiring and intellectual way and not dump her emotions to seek empathy from the readers.

Reviewed for the author

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book as a complimentary copy from the author in exchange for a honest review. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

Title: Finding Ecstasy: How Buenos Aires, a Brazilian, and the Blues Saved My Sex Life (and My Soul)
Author: Rebecca Pillsbury
Publisher: Duende Press
Pages: 283

Author Connect

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About the Book

Given the choice between chocolate or sex, Rebecca always chose chocolate.

That is, until a series of transformational experiences caused her to let go of three decades of sexual repression and shame. A serendipitous encounter with a Brazilian man sets the stage for a six-year journey toward the discovery of a new sexual and spiritual truth and a love that comes full circle.

Set against the backdrop of Buenos Aires and London, with the soulful music of the blues intricately woven throughout the journey, this book is more than just a captivating love story. Healing sources of spiritual guidance accompany the joyful and romantic ride.

Deeply intimate, insightful, and enriched with playful humor, this story invites readers to not only engage in the beauty of one woman’s journey of self-discovery, but to embark on their own journey toward living life to the fullest and highest degree possible.

About the Author

Rebecca Pillsbury 

Though one of her childhood fantasies was to have superhuman powers that allowed her to travel instantaneously around the globe—or at the very least, fly—it is Rebecca’s distinctly human persona that causes strangers and dogs alike to want to be her new best friend.

With a commitment to spreading joy and inspiring others to let go of shame and let shine their light, Rebecca unabashedly reveals her own vulnerability so that others may feel safe exploring their own.

Even as a young child growing up in Wisconsin, Rebecca found solace in writing stories, drawing inspiration from faraway places. Her wanderlust was fed as a young adult via worldwide pen-pal relationships, which gave way to her own international travels in her adult life. It was during her travels that she was exposed to new spiritual guides, paving the path for her journey-inspired transformational writing. Rather than simply leading readers to travel vicariously through her stories, however, she inspires readers to write their own stories.

Rebecca currently resides in Portland, Oregon, though you may not find her there year-round—a vagabond spirit cannot be tamed. You could look for her frolicking in forests or careening on rocks by the sea, but you’ll have better luck following her via her blog or on Facebook.


  1. I should say, you write very well. regarding physical satisfaction in a relation, today we have so much stress in our life that most couples forget their conjugal life. There are many women who deny sex to their husbands, many others have their own boyfriends and still get married to someone for money and status. Relations are just a money transfer business today, no one bothers about finding true love, that is time consuming and may take the entire lifetime of one. In our daily hassles we forget the one of the reasons we get married. Anyways, your book review blog is also nice, I am wondering why you have so less visitors.

    1. Thanks for your time here, Partha. Yes, this has been one of the untold sufferings of human life, not just in the present day, but from several centuries before. There are people who get forced into an unlikely match but not all relations are a money transfer. Love still exists though the demands of everyday life often overtake it.

      It's just a 5 month old blog. And I am trying to read review copies whenever I get to. If getting visitors takes sometime, let it. If you have suggestions for the blog, please help.